I'm going to jail i love you
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
