If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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