you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
