just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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