My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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