Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you had me at cake vodka
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
