Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
