when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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