your parents love me but you hate me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
