I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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