There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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