and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
"it" just moved
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize