just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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