____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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