remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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