Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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