Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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