Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
