How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
