i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
