How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
