your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
