I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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