i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize