Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
