Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
