The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
