Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
