i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
