Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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