I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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