In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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