I will die if light touches me.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He felt like a one man threesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
