just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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