my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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