News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we should paint friendship bongs
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
