Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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