I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Operation Purity has been aborted
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
