Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I am available for nakedness
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
