Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
