Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
