I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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