You really coming over, don't trick.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
