Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize