dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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