Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The air was thick with penises
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
