So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
