Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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