I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
