Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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