You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
