this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
