yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
