as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
