my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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