Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
honey bunches of taint.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
