We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this beer tastes like vomit already
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
