Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
