is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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