Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize