she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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