I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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