Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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