Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
