I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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