i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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