I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
