Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
