but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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