you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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