My hand turned me down
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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