we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
